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My daughter called the other day to lament on her difficult day in her day care class with 2 ½ year olds. It seemed like she had a day of “NOs” and “don’t do that” and “keep your hands to yourself”. You know that kind of day…we’ve all had them. After a day like that I feel grumpy; the kids feel grumpy…no one is having fun. Soooo what to do…
Have you heard the saying, “The behavior you give the most attention to is the behavior most often repeated.” Think about that…. If you are having a day when you are disciplining or redirecting all day, you could possibly be reinforcing the inappropriate behavior! YIKES!
Research shows we are to give 6 positive interactions for every single negative interaction. Are you doing that? When I was a behavior consultant observing teacher/student interactions, I rarely saw a 6:1 ratio of positive to negative interactions. Think of your most challenging student. How many times do you redirect her? If you are redirecting her, you are paying attention to inappropriate behavior. Now don’t get frustrated with me yet. Yes, you must redirect her. Absolutely! NOW are you making sure you are giving her 6 INTERACTIONS WHEN SHE IS DOING SOMETHING APPROPRIATELY? That’s the trick!
How do you get that many more positive interactions? LOOK FOR THEM! When she enters the room, greet her warmly. If she puts her backpack away, praise her. Get others in the school to notice her appropriate behaviors. Once I had a 5th grade student who was a behavior challenge so I developed a plan where 5 different people greeted him and chatted with him every morning BEFORE BREAKFAST. We were loading up for the day. It helped!
As my daughter and I talked, I recommended she get a “magic wand”. You know, the kind you buy with the Halloween costumes or in the toy section. Every time a child does something appropriately “ching” him on the head. Yes, you have to say, “ching”.
My daughter bought the magic wand and fancied it up with some ribbon (that’s her with her magic wand in the picture). The first day she tried it, the kids responded wonderfully! When a child asked to be “chinged on the head” (one child tapped her head and said, “head, head”), my daughter would tell them to do something nice like _____. The whole atmosphere in the room was now a positive fun place to be…for everyone!
Now, don’t make the mistake I made when I first used the magic wand. I had a group of kindergarten students sitting in the circle ready for math. One little guy was rolling on the floor. I said, “Oh magic wand, please help little guy sit nicely on his spot” and I chinged him. IT WORKED! He sat up instantly…but ALL MY OTHER STUDENTS FELL OVER AND STARTED ROLLING SO THEY COULD GET CHINGED! AAAAHHHHHH! Well, I quickly learned that magic wand only recognized students who were doing well.
There it is…a fun way to get a 6:1 ratio of positive interactions! Pay attention to the behavior you want repeated! HAVE FUN! CHINNNGGGG!